Why we broke up (part 1)

As the last of my pen’s ink is wasted on this piece of paper, I write to you again. For the very last time. You who I made my everything left me alone, waiting in the dark where it’s cold and you could hear nothing but deafening silence. When you left, you took all the light with you, along with my happiness. But that’s still not the saddest thing. Because after all that we have been through, I was never everything but just something to you: a tool, a back-up plan, a toy, a way to prove that you’re man enough. I was always, always, ALWAYS second best. And that was really unfair. It must be the butterflies in my stomach, the feelings I never failed to entertain, the way I blush, stutter and can’t think straight whenever you’re around – these things shut down that little sane voice at the back of my mind that was constantly reminding me that we are never going to work out. I should’ve known. It was too good to be true. I should’ve known. I was always happy. I should’ve known. Nothing seemed to take us away from each other. I should’ve known. You were perfect for me. I should’ve known. I was perfect for you. I should’ve known. WE WERE PERFECT. But the whole world is against perfect. Nothing can and will ever be perfect. So we failed. We failed the test, the expectations, and the markings of love. Because all you showed me, the 5 months we were together, were lies. All the sweet words, texts and actions: LIES. Yes, that’s what you are. You’re a liar. You lied to me, to everyone you know and to yourself the very moment you uttered the words “I LOVE YOU”. And the joke’s on me because I actually believed you. I hung to every letter, every side, every ANGLE of those sweet words. You made me look like a fool to the eyes of all the people I know and love. You, who once made me think that happily-ever-afters still exist in this messed up world is also the very reason why I now think it’s stupid and immature. We will never be truly happy. Yes, I am blaming you. Yes, I’m angry and pissed at you. Yes, I will never EVER forgive you for all that you’ve put me through. I loved you, to be honest. And yes, as screwed up as it may sound, I STILL DO. I still do, VERY MUCH. But you’ve moved on. You don’t care. I will always be just a part of your past. The part that didn’t and will never last. So congratulations, you broke my heart. And that’s why we broke up.

 and all the little girl can do is stare